Please read, I hope you enjoy this :)

(Please take into consideration that this is a first draft. I know that it is a little rough. I really hope you enjoy reading this small section of what I am working on and, please, leave feedback in the comments. All feedback is welcome and appreciated. Thank you so much for your time and if you like this please share it with your friends.)




The shrill ring of the telephone brought my attention away from the plate full of vegetables that lay in front of me. I hadn’t really eaten much of it, mainly I’d pushed it around with my fork and looked at the array of colors; green, orange, purple and red. The red always attracted me, tempting, but when I popped the little cherry tomatoes in my mouth and bit down I was always disappointed. The taste wasn’t what I’d expected. Not what the color had promised.

My mother gave an exasperated sigh on the third ring and pushed her chair from the table so she could stand. She walked through the doorway that went to the living room and I heard the small click of the phone leaving the receiver. Then her sweet voice said, “Hello?”

Even with me being in the dining room, I could hear the angry voice of the man on the other end of the line. I could hear him speaking but his words made no sense to my four year old mind. When my mother spoke again I could hear the distress in her voice. I turned sideways in my chair and leaned my weight forward so I slid off of it, letting my feet drop the three inches to the floor.

I padded to the living room. The voice of the angry man grew louder the closer I got. My mother looked up, wild-eyed, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Mommy? What’s wrong?”

The man stopped his angry rant and then spoke more calmly at the sound of my voice. “Is that her? Let me talk to her.”

“Matthew, she’s four years old! I have to go!” She slammed the phone down in its cradle. She turned back to me and patted her lap. I climbed up in it and she hugged me too tight to her chest.

The phone rang again. With no hesitation she picked it up. “What do you want?”

“I told you, she needs to be with me. She needs to be taught.” His voice was still angry but calmer.

“No, you can’t have her!”

“I will have to take her then.” He growled and then the line was dead.

My mother dropped the phone and ran to the small bedroom we shared, me in her arms. She set me on the bed then grabbed a large suitcase from under it. She shoved clothes into the suitcase, not looking at any of them. She stopped and left the room suddenly, I stayed where I was. I heard her punching numbers on the phone, I heard it ring through and then a different man’s voice. I was too frightened to listen to what was being said, I didn’t want to know what was happening.

A minute later she walked back into the room and kneeled in front of me. She looked at my face, smiling through her tears and said, “Sweetie, could you go in the bathroom and get our toothbrushes, toothpaste, and the hairbrush?”

“Mommy, what’s going on? Are we leaving?”

“Yes, we’re leaving honey. Don’t worry, I promise everything will be alright.” She smiled again, trying to calm my fear I think, but her voice was shaky.

I dropped off the bed. My feet hit the wooden floor silently and I walked to the bathroom. I grabbed a zippered bag from the cabinet under the sink and began putting items in it. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, hairbrush and I even grabbed the shampoo and conditioner from the bath/shower. When I walked back to the room my mother had the first suitcase closed and was starting to close a second, smaller one. I knew that all the clothes we had fit into those two suitcases.

“Okay, a stop by the kitchen, then out to the car and we’re out of here. We’ll stop and get some fast food somewhere.” Her voice was so calm and collected that I jumped, I’m not sure why but I did.

She picked up the luggage off the bed and headed out of the bedroom door. I started after her then stopped.

“Mommy, wait.”

She turned and I ran back to the bed. I grabbed my large black teddy bear off it and a rainbow striped quilt. The quilt was barely big enough to wrap around me and the bear was so big it was nearly half my size. I put the quilt around the bear and clutched it to my chest. Then I walked back to my mother’s side. She turned back to the door and started walking again with me trailing behind her.

She opened a drawer and pulled out a thick envelope when we reached the kitchen. I knew the envelope was full of money; she was always putting money in it and saying that she never knew when it would come handy. Apparently, tonight she found her good use for it. She glanced around the room, quickly; making sure nothing was forgotten that couldn’t be replaced.

A pounding on the front door snapped both our necks around to look at the wall, like we could see through it to the door. I heard the frame of the door groan and crack under the force of the visitor’s fists. I was still staring at the wall when my mother’s arms wrapped around my body. She carried me towards the pantry, set me down and opened the folding doors. She moved a large sack of potatoes to reveal an open space below the bottom shelf and without a word pointed.

I dropped to my hands and knees then crawled into the small cubby. She slid the potatoes back in front of me. There was an opening, about two inches, which I was able to see through between the top of the bag and bottom of the shelf. She was about to shut the doors of the pantry when the crash from the front door proved whoever was pounding on it could beat it from its deadbolt and hinges.

My mom turned around almost instantly, leaving the folding doors partially open. She stepped away from the pantry and closer toward the table. She spared a glance back in my direction for a second then faced the doorway to the living room.

“Josefine, you will give her to me, now!” A man’s voice roared. It was the man that was on the phone, just minutes before.

“I’m in the kitchen, Matthew. No need to holler, it will only draw the attention of the neighbors. They’re a nosy bunch around here and they enjoy a show of blue and red when they can get it.” My mother said in an amazingly calm voice.

She sat down in the chair she was in earlier as the man came through the doorway. He was rather short for a man, maybe five-foot. His chin-length hair was a dark-chocolate brown with an odd offset of light auburn highlighting it and his eyes were the brightest emerald green, streaked with gold that was almost yellow.

“Where is she? Just tell her to come here and I will be on my way, with her, of course.”

“One, she has a name and it is Corallyn. Two, Coral is not only your child but mine, also. I carried her to term. I birthed her. I raised her! You left before she was even born, you have no right to just come here and take her away.” The calm was leaking to anger in her voice.

“I left for her protection and now I must take her for my own!” He bellowed.

“What the hell’s that suppose to mean?” She was up and out of her chair, letting it fall backwards to the floor.

She stalked up to him and thrust her chest out towards his face. If he’d been taller she probably would have settled for strong eye contact but the ten inches she had on him didn’t make that possible. Conflicting emotions flashed over his upturned face; love, grief, longing, sadness and lastly raw anger.

Unexpectedly he whispered, strained but still a whisper. “Please, Josie, don’t do this. Don’t, she has to come with me. I must teach her, teach her how to survive, how to stay hidden from those who might seek to destroy her. I promise, I only wish for her safety. It just so happens that her safety with me means my safety, also. Let me take her. I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again. Live your life; be free of things you know nothing about.”

“No! She’s fine living a normal human life. The only way you’ll get her is over my cold, breathless corpse. Quite possible her own, too. She doesn’t know you and will not go without a fight. I promise you that.”

I seen a quick flash of silver and a reflection of light, then as he pushed his hands forcefully against my mother’s torso with no weapon in sight, he said, “If that is what you want.”

My mother’s body fell backwards, hitting the table on its descent to the floor, and her head fell into the hands of his outstretched arms. Blood sprayed all around the kitchen and now began to pool out around the severed neck.

A whimper escaped Matthew’s lips. He looked down at the face staring up at him from my mother’s decapitated head. He settled for a tone full of hatred when he spoke.

“Damn you, Josefine. It didn’t have to be this way. I loved you but, damn it, not more than myself.” A tear slid down his cheek and he dropped her head. It hit the floor with a sickly wet thud, landing in the blood that had drained from it.

Suddenly, I was staring into my mother’s dead eyes. The empty glaze of those eyes made me catch my breath. That small intake of breath was a big mistake. Matthew was headed toward the pantry before I could blink. He was kneeling when something came through his right shoulder. It had the look of bone or possibly tusk and, though it was blood-soaked, I could tell it was white or close to it.

Another man’s voice rang through the kitchen, almost making me scream but I swallowed it.

“Matthew, you are one dead Inborn, you son of a bitch!”

“That’s only if you can catch me, Seeker.” Matthew said.

He jumped to his feet and ran to the window farthest away from the newcomer. He smashed through it without missing a beat. He was gone.

The new man hesitated a second, looked down at my mom and said, “Well, shit Josie, I was too late. I tried, I’m sorry.”

He ran to the window Matthew had jumped through and was gone, just as the man before him.

I stayed behind my sack of potatoes, wide-eyed and silent, until the first cop came into the kitchen. His gun was held out in front of him and an expression of shock horror was on his face. Something about the sight of the badge pinned to the man’s chest or the expression on his face brought tears streaming down my face and sobs wrenching from my throat.

Update

I haven't had any time to blog lately. Right now I have too much on my plate and my blog has had to take the back seat. I'm hoping to be able to straighten things up soon but I'm not sure when I'll be able to blog again. I truly miss blogging and wish I had more time to do so. I just thought I'd let everyone know I didn't give up on it and when things are a little smoother in my life I'll be back to blogging.

I've been spending sometime with my camera

I've been spending quite a bit of time with my digital camera lately and I've decided, since I've not felt quite like writing in my blog recently, I would share some photos. I hope you enjoy them and thanks for looking :)

For Those I Have Yet Not to Forget

I wrote this poem about ten years ago. Hope you like it :-)

For Those I Have Yet Not to Forget

I lay awake in the dead of the night,
Nothing to do, to say , see or hear.
I have pitch darkness all around,
It's like I can feel the black,
Like I'm cloaked in black velvet.
Soft, smooth on the skin, to the touch,
A sigh of comfort, a feeling...
A feeling of indefiniteness.
And then, even though, I know I'm still by myself,
Alone, I can feel a hand slowly run over my back.
I am put into complete lust,
For the dark, my cloak of blackness,
My velvet, my love, my hate.
I despise it, but,
Yet, I long for it, to my heart's desire.
The night is a torture for something,
Something I can't have.
It's a tease of disorder,
For unkind hope.
A wish, a want, a need.
That if not fulfilled will cause trouble,
And triumphantly pain will overcome.
Depression will eventually cause a problem
Striking down anything,
That's anything that's left of self-confidence,
Of self-esteem, of self-gratitude.
But I'll try to lock this,
This indefinite feeling behind a door
With all the other bad times.

Changing

I was walking past our pony's pen the other day, March 27 to be exact, and I saw this caterpillar hanging oddly from the wire. It only took me a moment to realize why it was hanging in this odd position, he was headed for his big change. The change in which he would become a butterfly, or moth. I'm not really into identifying types of caterpillars and which ones change into what, so I can't be certain into which this particular one changes.

I figured I'd share some pics I've been taking of it with those who read this blog of mine. Hope you like them :)

Just a short fill in

Well, I definitely haven't been blogging daily as I aimed to do when I started this blog and lately I haven't blogged at all. Things have been extremely busy lately and every time I turn around I'm having to do something else, which is really irritating me because I haven't had much time at all for writing, not on this blog or my novel. This has gotten me really upset but, even though my novel is a very high priority of mine, other things have to be done.

I hope to get back to blogging, maybe not daily but regularly, soon. I figured I would give a heads up on why I haven't blogged lately.

Thanks to those who do read my blog :)

My interruptions and My helpers

So, writing has been going pretty well lately with only a few interruptions. Last night I was interrupted by my man for about an hour while he ranted and raved about his many characters on his World of Warcraft account. I can't stand W.O.W., just for the record, but I feel it is just rude to ignore him or even tell him to be quiet because he listens to my endless ranting about my characters, story line and so on from my novel. I guess we're pretty much even. I know that he's not really into the subject of which I'm writing but he listens and gives me advice on what he thinks might need improving. After he finally left and I was able to get back to my writing I was attacked by an onslaught of ideas. Ideas are always great but the only problem was these ideas kept me from what I was determine to write in my novel. They were related to my story but not the particular book I am writing right now. They're more idealistic for the third book of my series. I did, of course, note all the ideas on my handy-dandy index cards and there were some very, very original and unique ideas. I would share but I'm paranoid and since it will probably be quite awhile before I start writing the third book I will keep them to myself for now.

Two of my cousins are reading through the chapters I have finished and have agreed to give me feedback of what they think, good or bad. So far what they have read they like and that's promising, especially from my cousin Shannon because she is very critical about what she reads. If it doesn't catch her attention from the get go she'll let you know about it and she doesn't care who you are. She is brutally honest and that's exactly what someone like me needs. Both of my cousins are extremely thrilled that I chose them because they are the only ones who have been allowed to even glimpse what I've written, well besides the synopsis I posted previously on a blog entry. I chose them because they will be less likely to try to spare my feeling, unlike my mother or sister who would tell me it's good, just to make me happy and that's the last thing I need.

Doing and Thinking

This Friday wasn't so bad. The day (well the part I was up, hehe, I got up way late, 2:30 pm, whoopsie) wasn't very stressful and bowling was good.

I have been working a lot on my novel the past two days, thanks to the lack of stress, so I have not been blogging as much. I'm not going to put down my pen to blog if I'm on a roll with my novel. I did have an almost week long dry spell on writing though, that included everything (novel, blogging, etc.); I was just all kinds of blah and didn't feel like doing anything, even getting out of bed. I don't know why, it just was. But now I am back to writing and feeling great. I'm a little disappointed in myself for wasting that precious writing time but I think my head needed a rest because my words are flowing much better :)

I have actually been in such high spirits that I was thinking, on the drive home, that I'd like to take up the guitar. I play, or use to play, the trombone and I have always wanted to learn the guitar but I think I'm actually seriously considering it. I would have to find some time to fit it in and it may have to wait a little but I think I'm really going to go for it :) My novel is first priority right now though, I don't want to put too many things in front of me because that usually ends in everything falling apart.

This really tips my rocker

Today my aunt informed my mother of an article, in the Ocala Star Banner, about the place my mother was born and where their family lived for quite awhile. My grandfather was a Marine(he passed away in January of 2001) and they lived in the housing of Tarawa Terrace, part of Camp Lejeune. In the article was information on water contamination. My mother never knew about this, so she asked my grandmother if she knew anything about the contamination. My grandmother had never heard about it. Apparently from 1957 to 1987 people who lived in this region drank, bathed, cooked their food, etc. etc. in contaminated water. My mother was, like I said, born here in 1960. She was born with a defect in her left eye and has never had vision in that eye. She has also dealt with cysts and unknown nodules. My grandfather had polyps covering his back and several other health conditions. My grandmother has had several operations on many organs. My mom's half brother had to have a large potion of lung removed, many years ago. My aunt and 2 uncles have many health problems. They all lived at this location. It's been 40+ years since they've lived there but they are just now finding out and by what I understand the Military is trying to say that there is NO connection between the contamination and illnesses, even death, of the families that inhabited this place. Do they seriously think people are that stupid?

Here are some links if you want to see more details
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_Lejeune
http://www.tftptf.com/
http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/sites/lejeune/tce_pce.html
http://www.uswaternews.com/archives/arcquality/7pastcont6.html
http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=68028

There are also many more if you're interested, this is just a few.

Ugh, Fridays

Ugh, Fridays always slow me down. I'm on a bowling league and Friday night is bowling night. But even without bowling Fridays are always hectic around here and I don't even know why; they just are. Adding the bowling on top of all the craziness just makes writing on Fridays not very feasible. I hate losing the day, or night in my case, but I enjoy bowling. I should actually be working on my novel right now but I have the stress of the day hanging on me and my brain isn't in fiction writing mode. It's a terrible thing. Though blogging really helps me relieve stress, so I am sure once I have finished here I will get a couple hours in on my novel.

Surprisingly this week has been fairly stress free, notice how many days I've not blogged this week. Tonight made up for the lost stress of the week. My nephew was exceptionally bad at the bowling alley, my mom was bitchy as ever, as was my sister but what takes the cake is my sister's boyfriend. He just gets under my skin so bad that sometimes I just want to knock his 'I know everything and that makes me better than you' ass into next week. I don't even know why he bowls and, of course, he is on my team. The tiniest thing triggers him into a bad mood and as soon as he's mad he purposely throws gutter balls. He actually looks for things to make him mad, too. His last game of the night tonight was a 47, seriously. My nephew can score higher than a 47. That averages out to less than 5 pins a frame. It just unnerves me. Why, why, why paid to bowl on a league if you are not going to do the best you can? The league isn't as formal or serious as a normal one, it's more laid back and is suppose to be 'fun' (that's why I joined) but still if you pay why purposely play like crap?

Anyways, this week I finish writing the chapter I was working on and I've also did some editing and revising on it but I'm sure there will be more of that later on also. I am very happy with what I've gotten accomplished this week.

Sorry about the bit of foul language, hope it didn't offend anyone. I'm off to get some writing done :-)

Synopsis of my novel Halfborn

Well, here it is! Here is the synopsis for the novel I am working on right now entitled Halfborn. It's not too specific but comments from the people who have read it say that it keep them hanging and they couldn't wait for me to finish my book, so they could read it. Tell me what you think? Whether you like it or not, let me know :)

It was only when Coral unknowingly created an indestructible companion did she realize that she was much more different than, the strange human with a taste for blood, she thought she was.

Coral, with her new companion Marshall, goes on a long, chaotic journey. Along this journey Coral is determined to find out what and who she is and what Marshall has become, a task that proves to be very difficult with him along for the ride. Marshall's new life is as much a stranger to Coral as his past life, the one that he will never return to finish living. Unlike Coral's occasional blood drinking, Marshall's is obviously a necessity for him to thrive and he tries to get his fill by all means possible with no allowance of caution.

This quest for knowledge brings Coral face to face with someone she could have never believed existed, not even with the other unbelievable things she lived with recently, and two others, all with a small bit of information for her puzzle. Joined by Innocence, Sebastian and his father Xander; Coral finds out who she is but is struck by curiosity of what she is and what that world can offer her.

But is Coral strong enough to handle what that world has to offer?

My nephew, the sun and I

I spent a good amount of my time outside today with my nephew, it was fun but now my head is pounding. I love being out doors, I especially love going to the beach, but my body does not like the sun. If I'm out in the sun, for even just a couple of hours with sun block on, I get terrible headaches and my skin starts itching and gets like a rash type thing (like almost water blisters but different). My grandfather had the same condition and so does my mother, I guess it's like a type of allergy but I've never had it diagnosed. It's extremely annoying but pretty much manageable with long sleeves and pants or just plain avoiding the sunlight, lol. This is probably one of the main reasons why I prefer the hours of night. As much as I love being outside and seeing the beauty of everything bathed in the light of the sun, Florida is just not the ideal place for long sleeve and pants all year long.

Sure there are days, like today, that I spend outside taking in every ounce of light that touches me and enjoying every moment of it but the consequences of that enjoyment just plain suck. So, I just try to avoid sunlight. Terrible, right? But, then again, things could be worse and so I try to think more positively, like I had fun and so did my nephew. He played in his sandbox, on the swing, and ran around all over the place while I chased him. We laughed and sang along with the songs that played on the radio. Isn't that worth a little bit of skin irritation and a headache? I think it is :)

You have questions, I will give you answers :)

Rob Weaver said...
You must be tired staying up all night to write! When do you get your sleep?

Hope you dont mind me asking, but did you study English or creative writing? Or is this a hobbie you have been pursuing? Hope it goes well!

Ps What is the premise of your novel? or would you have to kill me if i found out?

Rob


Aw, I have questions. I figured I would just answer them on a post, since I don't really have anything to blog about today.

Sleep? What is sleep? LOL, no seriously, I usually go to bed between 4-6am, give or take an hour or two, and get in about 6 hours. I wake up around noon most of the time, even if I've gone to bed at 8am but that doesn't happen often. I have always been a "night owl", but, in the case of my nephew, I would never get any writing done if I didn't do it at night (He is a very high wired 3 year old).

As for schooling, I took advanced placement English/Creative writing studies in high school. I did not go to college. It's not that I have anything against learning, it's the fact of having to pay for knowledge that I don't like. I have learned, growing up in poverty, that money is very important but not everything. I am not saying that learning isn't a good investment but why pay for something you can get for free on your own (well not exactly free, it cost money to have Internet and to buy books). As long as you are willing to learn you can do it by yourself without a professor who will most likely confuse you.

Also, I take my writing very seriously. This blog I have is something that is just for me to have fun; this, for me, is a hobby. I am more free with this, I don't worry so much about punctuation and grammar on my blog. It's kind of a release.

As for my novel, it's about a young woman that grew up in an orphanage. She has a taste for blood but doesn't realize she's different until she creates an indestructible companion. It's all about her quest in finding out what and who she is and the new friends she meets along the way. This is the first novel of a series of 3-5 novels, haven't decided how many but I know there will be at least 3. I will try to post the synopsis I have soon, I just got a new laptop so I have to look through the files on my other computer to find it.

I have played around with the idea for about 10 years now but just recently start acting on writing it, instead of leaving it in my head. It will be in the dark fantasy/vampire genre. I just wish I had decided to actually write it years ago because now-a-days everywhere you turn around there's something dealing with vampires.

If anyone has anymore questions, well, just ask away :)

My day and more rambling

Today was one of those drag out, knock down kinda days but amazingly I don't feel exhausted. There was more hostility flying around the house today, that's typical though, and I managed not to let that bring me down. And as much as I love my nephew, he is a royal pain. He was jumping on me all day long and running around like a madman, lol.

My nephew makes it next to impossible to write during the daylight hours, so my writing take place during the late night hours. On a good night writing I'm up until 6am. I plan to make tonight one of those nights and get at least one chapter knocked out, I'm hoping to get more than one chapter but will be pleased with one. I would love to be further with my novel than I am, I've got a few chapters done, but I am compulsive about planning. Guess that's not a terrible thing but it sure does slow you down, lol.

Okay, that's enough talking about writing my novel. I'm going to actually get to work on it. Will blog more later:)

Rambling

Ugh, didn't sleep very well last night, I tossed, turned and woke up practically ever 15 minutes. Today I am just all blah.

Been thinking about posting the synopsis for my novel but I'm probably gonna put that off for a while. I really need to get some index cards because I keep having ideas for my second and even third novels of the series and I am just scribbling them down in my 5 subject notepad but I have a feeling that I'm going to get them all mixed up when I get that far, lol. I probably won't but it would be nice to have some sort of organization.

I figured I would just get on here and babble a minute. It's kinda nice to ramble a little, even if there's no one reading it :P

I can have an opinion too, lol

Well I have to say I have been slacking in my writing the past couple of days but when I was at the bookstore the other day with my sister I picked up some reading material. And one of the main things that keeps me from writing is reading, next to stress that is. Since I had been stressed out a new book to read is just what I needed and now I am pumped back up, all stress off my shoulders, ready to write. All the ideas that were stuck in my head, that I was unable to find words for, are ready to flow from my hand and through my pen. Yes, I write all my stuff by hand first before typing it. Actually writing it makes me feel more comfortable and I am able to get better words out if I feel that comfort. People have told me it is way too much work I am putting on myself but it's how I like to do it :)

Anyhow, one of the books I picked up was Fallen by Lauren Kate, it was the one I have read so far. It isn't the normal type of book I read but after reading the first few pages I was entirely hooked, even though I am not a religious person and it is about fallen angels. I was utterly surprised that it was able to grab my attention so completely, I literally could not put this book down, I loved it. I seriously can't wait for the next in the series to come out. Just so you know it is suppose to be a teen novel but I don't really see books as separated as teen and adult. I don't understand the labeling, is there someone out there that says, "Oh, this book will only be read by teenagers and no way will an adult like it." I will, with absolutely no doubt, still like books that are considered "teen" when I'm 90, if I make it that long, lol. No I don't only read books out of that section but I do not count them out when searching for a book to settle down and read, you don't know what you could miss out on if you skip over the teen section in the book store just 'cause you think you're too old for it.

Also, last night we (me, my mom, my sister, and her boyfriend) watched Jennifer's Body and I am sad to say I was extremely disappointed. I was expecting it to be much better than it was. I mean I have seen worse movies but come on, and then they put that horrible Courtney Love song at the end after you thought it couldn't get any worse. Have you ever had that feeling that you wasted a perfectly good chunk of time that you could have been doing something more productive? Okay, that's how I felt when the movie was done.

Well I'm outta here to get some work done on my novel :)

Had fun today

Well, for a change, I actually got out of the house today. I went to town with my sister, her boyfriend and my nephew. It was fun but I would have liked it more if we went to the beach to watch the waves or on a nice scenic nature walk. But it was just so nice to get out of the house. Usually the only time I leave the house is to go bowling on Friday nights; I'm on a league.

We had a good time though. We dropped her car off at Pep Boys to get new tires on it and then took his car all over the place. We went to Famous Footwear, Books-a-Million, Chik-fil-a, AMF West (Galaxy Lanes), Walmart, and finally Best Buy. After picking her car back up we stopped at Five-Star to pick up pizza for dinner.

I had to get up early this morning and now I am exhausted. As much fun as I had today, I regret the fact that I am so tired I will not be able to get any writing done on my novel tonight but at least I got to clear my mind of stress today :)

I needed to vent, sorry

I didn't get much writing done last night, reached a certain scene and just couldn't find the words.  I 've been under a great deal of stress lately and the worst part is I shouldn't be the one stressed out.  My mother is out of her "medicine" (it's not medicine unless you live in a state that can perscribe it legally and Florida is not one of those states) and so I get to hear her gripe and moan all day.  It's not that she complains about any physical pain or anything like that, no it's the same thing everyday, all day long, and mostly only when she doesn't have her "medicine".  I understand she's depressed but she's not even tried to get help and doesn't want to take advice from my sister or me.  I am nearly to the point where I'm just about ready to give up on her as she is now accusing me and my sister of conspiring with my father against her.  See he left her nearly six years ago, after she found out he'd been cheating on her for at least a year and after they'd been together for twenty years.  I understand that's terrible and a very traumatic thing but, seriously, enough is enough and I don't feel like going crazy because she refuses to get help for herself.

I'm not trying to sound uncaring but if I see my father and she finds out all hell breaks lose.  Nearly six years I've dealt with this in my life, even when I didn't live with her before me and my other half lost our house.  So I ask you, how would you deal with this situation?

Well enough fuming for me. Eventhough the stress may halt my writing sometimes, at least I can rest my mind and pick right back up later.  I just have to remember to let my mind rest and not force it to work.

I am going to do something productive now :)

I'm a newbie :)

Well as I said, I'm new to the blogging community. I tried it a few times on Myspace and didn't really get the feel for it but, as I was overwhelmed with apps on Myspace, I had little time to worry about it there. I have been thinking for awhile about blogging though, so I have finally broke down to the urge and here I am.

With this first post I will let you know a little about who I am and things I like. I believe that nothing is perfect and even if perfection really existed nothing good would come of it. People need flaws in their life; mistakes. No one would learn or accomplish anything if everything were perfect. Also, beauty would not exist if flaws weren't there to allow you to see it. Be accepting of every mistake you make and know that you learned something; that maybe next time you can use that knowledge and possibly succeed.

Here is a list of things I like (some may say useless knowledge but I think helps this blog to be a little more personal):

Favorites:
movie Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
actor comedy Jerry Lewis, in general Peter Facinelli
song The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace (1974)
band I love all kinds of music so choosing is hard but let's say Papa Roach
TV show too many to chose from (Burn Notice, House, Glee, Fringe, NCIS, Law and Order: SVU, L&O: CI, etc., etc., etc.)
Color Green in just about any shade

Okay well I can go on listing forever probably, lol, so let's leave it at that.

I am an aspiring writer and I'm working on my first novel, after several attempts in the past that failed due to low self-esteem. I have faith in myself now that I will finish writing my novel and hope that people will want to read that story. Though I am still in the process of just writing and won't be ready for an agent and publisher for awhile, I have prepared myself that rejection is a part of the writing industry and know just because one or ten or even thirty people don't like my story that there is a possibility that someone might. So giving up, for me, is no longer an option and as long as I am able to try I will. It's no good to think you're not good enough.

That's a little about me :) I will try to blog everyday but that's no guarantee I will be able to and maybe someday I will have they hang of this. Well I'm off to go do some writing ;)