Sunday, December 21, 2014

When you reach that part...

Maybe you're not like me. Maybe I'm different. While I'm reading a book or watching a show or movie, I always have a favorite part. I might not know I'm waiting for it. Sometimes it doesn't always happen but if it does, well, my mind is left satisfied.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate and enjoy all the aspects that have been put into the means of entertainment. I'm not going to lie and say I love everything ever written because I don't. I have my favorite genres. I have my own tastes. Just as everyone else.

But I have a specific favorite part in any work I'm reading or watching. No matter the genre or subject. Horror, romance, comedy, etc. There's usually two characters that develop a closeness. They get to know each other. There is that build in tension. You see it. You feel it. Well, I do. I can't really speak for anyone other than myself. Then... they kiss. The first kiss. No matter what happens after that, it's that first kiss that gets me every time. Reading, watching, it doesn't matter. It just gets me. It makes me want to hold on to the moment and, at the same time, push the story further to find out what happens next. That is my favorite part. I'm not entirely sure why. There's no guarantee that any good will come of it, especially if it's in horror. 

Let me explain, the best way I can, why the first kiss in a story is my favorite. During the progress of a story you can make assumptions. You may not always be right, well, unless you wrote it but from my experience in writing, even then, your assumptions can be incorrect. Sometimes your characters take you by surprise. But back to what I was saying. It's a build between these characters, you assume that first kiss is coming and if it does... It's a cliché but, boom, fireworks. Maybe that's not quite right.

Let's say this. You remember when you were in high school and you had a crush? No? Okay, imagine you're a shy 15 year girl. You keep to yourself and have very few friends. You have a huge crush on someone a grade ahead of you. You watch him from a distance and never grow the courage to talk to him. Somehow, you end up in a study hall period together with him. There's like 10 or 15 other students in the room, though you can't remember because you were overwhelmed by being in the same room with him. You try to keep your distance because if you get too close your stomach feels like you're on a roller coaster and you can't utter a word to save your life. Then your crush approaches you and starts talking. Your stomach feels as if it's grown wings, your heart flutters at an erratic pace, your skin prickles and feels as if it could burst into flames at any second, and your mind screams at you, begging you say something. Say anything beside a garbled mess of babble.

Okay, take that feeling, minus the part where your brain is screaming at you. The feeling of "butterflies in your stomach", adrenaline pumping in your veins, and the flush of your skin. That is the feeling I get nearly every time the first kiss happens in a story. It's usually stronger when I'm reading a book. And the better written a story is, the stronger the feeling is. The last sentence applies to movies and television shows. That feeling is why the first kiss between characters is my favorite part of a story. To be able to live that feeling over and over again is a gift. I hope that it never goes away, no matter how many stories I read or see.
















That is my favorite part of a story and the reason why it's my favorite. Do you crave certain aspects in a story? If you want to share what it is, feel free to do so by leaving a comment. Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

It's back to work

For the most part I haven't really worked on my novel in a month or so. Yeah, there has been a day here or there that I got some writing in, never much though. A page here, two pages there. At the most during the past month I wrote five pages in one day. But the days of working on it were rare and far between. That doesn't mean I didn't write anything at all. I actually wrote something everyday during that month or more, mostly poetry. Poetry that fit my mood. See, I'm sure the last few posts I've got up before this one, well, you can probably tell I was struggling with a bit of depression. Maybe not, I haven't went back and read them. I'm just going by memory. Depression is something I'm familiar with, I've fought with it on and off for awhile now. I use to be a happy kid, nothing ever brought me down but something broke that in me around 13 or 14. I don't know what it was. I have no recollection of what made me go from being energetic and happy one day to almost instantly being sad, upset and just plain mad at the world. It doesn't matter anyways, I suppose, because if I figured out what it was, I would just dwell on it and that wouldn't help me. So, yeah, basically I'm saying I've been in a slump, probably about six months now. Maybe more. Time just slips by and I can't think exactly when this recent bout started. If you've ever experience it, you know that you kind of just go through the motions and throw up a facade. A couple of days ago something happened, it wasn't good but it brought such strong emotions that I'd thought I'd snapped. Thought I was broken forever. I'm not and I refuse to be. But it made me realize what I'd been doing, especially this last month or so. Let me go back, though. I mentioned that though I hadn't been working on my novel, I have been writing poetry. It's my go to thing. I went through that poetry, oh how terribly depressing it was, lol, but I got to one I wrote just last Friday. Yeah, Friday the 13th, ooooh, superstitious anyone? Only 4 days before the incident that made me realize what I was doing. I didn't see it at the time, maybe I didn't want to see it, when I put it in to my Facebook status (my notebook and pen weren't handy and I didn't feel like opening anything else, so, hey, Facebook was up and I put it there. It happens sometimes). Anywho, as I was saying, I got to this poem and honestly, I remember writing it but I don't really remember. Does that make sense? I read it and was just kind of like, "Wow". No, it's not the best poem I ever wrote. It's nothing to compare to any famous poet but still, it nearly made me weep. I do not weep. Yeah, I cry but weep? No. It kind of touched something in me, so I wanted to share. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. Some probably didn't even get to it because of my ramblings above but I thank those that stayed with me to this point. Here's the poem:

LIFE

I lost a love that wasn't mine,
It left my mind so far behind.
Too complicated,
Too intertwined.
I miss the love that isn't mine.

A love of life,
A love of time.
A love that never said, "Goodbye."
I never realized it was there,
As I washed my face
Or combed my hair.

I'm left to wonder where it's gone.
Too much time has passed,
So long,
Not to realize it had left.
Where is all my happiness?

When did it leave?
Has it died?
Perhaps, it had to hide?
Now that I know it has gone,
I miss it so
But I wonder, did it have to go?

So, now I search
Day in and out
For a love I miss,
So much.
For a love of life,
A love of time,
Knowing that it can be mine.


(A side note, I'm back to finishing up my novel. I've set a goal to have it finished no later than July :-)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I'm still here

I just wanted to say that I haven't completely fell of the edge of the world, yet. I'm still around and I don't really have a good reason for not posting in forever. Things haven't been entirely up to par for me recently. Every time I think I get one step ahead, someone comes along and pulls me two steps back. I'll make it through, I always have. If there was a way to get out of this situation that I've been stuck in the past four years, I would take it. Until then, I will continue to work at pulling myself out tooth and nail. And that's how you tell I'm in a slump, all the damned cliches. Oh well. I felt it necessary to tell everyone that I didn't forget about this blog. I'm not entirely sure why, probably the same reason I feel it's necessary to say yes to a favor I'd rather not do, lol. Though, that's not exactly right because I want to write, be it on my novel, a poem or a blog. But I have thought several times about doing a blog post and I just keep putting it off until I forget. Ah, the king of wishful thinking cannot also be the queen of procrastination. Things don't work that way. So, yeah, I'm not going to say things are good because that would be lying but things aren't terrible either, I guess. Things are just blah. I could go on. I could go into detail. I do not wish to bore anyone or cause anyone to feel pity for me. I am not here to go on about my life's drama. I know too much that everyone has their own life's drama to be burdened by someone else's, especially someone they've never even met. Hope everyone's holiday season is as good as it can be. There's no promise from me that I will get to post again before the New Year but I'm not saying I won't.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Unjustified

You're full of hate,
And, oh, so mean.
You call me names,
You scream at me.
What did I do,
I don't know why?
You degrade what I want,
You say it's not right.
I'm your flesh and blood,
Do you even care?
I'm not him,
I'm not my dad.
I have his looks,
That's the luck of my draw.
I remind you too much
Of what he did.
But I'm not my dad,
I didn't do those things.
I didn't strand you alone,
Didn't leave your side.
Why do you do this,
Why make me cry?
Do you want me gone, too,
I'll go when I can.
But you'll blame me when I leave,
I know you will.
Which is better to live with
The pain you cause me
Or the pain I'll cause you.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Another tidbit from Halfborn

A horrible, wet, hacking noise ripped me from my unconsciousness. I jumped off the bed immediately to survey my surroundings, only when I turned back toward the bed did I see what was causing the sound. Marshall was in an odd position with his upper body toward the edge, holding his head as far away as possible and he was coughing uncontrollably. I’d never heard anyone cough like that before, it was wet sounding, like his lungs were filled with fluid. When he breathed in it made a terrible gurgling.

I ran to his side, shocked by what was lying on the floor below his face. Blood, darker than normal, pooled on the linoleum and was speckled in various places but what was more appalling were the half-dozen teeth that lay in the middle of the burgundy pool. The teeth were whole, like they’d been extracted perfectly. I was trying to stay calm and think but my thoughts just screamed ‘What the hell is going on’ at me. Before I had a chance to think what to do another tooth flew from his mouth and hit the floor, and then he was trying to catch his breath. He’d been choking on a tooth, on his tooth.

“Water,” he rasped.

I rushed out the door, filled a pitcher with water and grabbed a large bowl in the kitchen then hurried back to him. When I reached the nightstand, I filled the glass there and handed it to him. I brought the bowl suspecting he’d want to rinse his mouth out before actually drinking but he just drank down the water, ignoring the fact his mouth was full of blood.

I looked him over while he drank. He was extremely pale, almost all the color gone from his skin, making the darkened veins more pronounced. That’s when I realized that they now covered his entire body and they looked gruesomely black against his pallor. When my gaze made its way back to his face he was staring at me, his eyes full of sadness.

“Open your mouth I want to look at what’s going on in there.” I said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

He said nothing but did what I asked. Nearly all his top teeth were missing. More than what lay on the floor. I could only assume he’d swallowed some. I couldn’t see much, just the dark red holes left behind where the teeth use to be, there was no indication of why they had fallen out. Again, what was going on stumped me.

“I don’t know but I think this just looks worse than it really is.” I lied.

By the look on his face, he knew I was lying but he stayed silent. I left him alone most of the day, after cleaning up the blood off the floor and placing the lost teeth in the bowl. I only checked on him occasionally. I knew he wanted to be alone. I spent most of my time on the couch in the TV room feeling his emotions flicker and waiting for what I was sure was inevitable. I let myself follow the emotions that were not my own. There was a time that he denied what was happening, shortly proceeded with a fierce anger. Sometime close to dusk, I felt him give up, as if he embraced what was happening. He was accepting his fate and that’s when I returned to him.

“You know, we’re not a hundred percent sure that’s what’s happening.” I said as I entered the room.

I startled him, making him jump and then shake his head.

“You should get some sleep. You’re looking a little pale and you could use the rest.”

“No,” was all he said but I could feel that the thought of sleep frightened him.

I stayed in the room with him, not that he wanted me there but because I was afraid. I offered him food several times just for him to refuse, only allowing me to bring him water when the pitcher was empty. It was strange, when I finally noticed it, all the water he consumed and never having the necessity to use the toilet. I asked to make sure he didn’t need the use of it. He responded to my question with an odd expression and shook his head indicating that he didn’t. I didn’t know how much more of these unexplainable occurrences I could handle. I’d never heard of anything like this happening to anyone.

Once, while retrieving the pitcher to refill it, I noticed the bowl on the nightstand had several more of his teeth in it. By the amount there, he couldn’t have had many left in his mouth. It made me think if he did decide to eat something it would have to be soup. He stayed awake the whole night, just staring into space, occasionally adding another lost tooth to the growing pile.

Another night had passed and Marshall was still alive, though he seemed to be falling apart and his body running out of time. Somewhere between dawn and noon, the normal gurgles of his stomach stopped and the rhythm of his heartbeats slowed drastically. He didn’t speak at all throughout the day and just continued to do what he had done during the night. The last of his teeth had left the confines of his mouth in the early evening and soon after, he lost the struggle with his eyelids and slipped into unconsciousness.

I observed him while he slept, taking in the raspy, jaggedness of his breaths. Then it seemed that his darkened veins were fading, they were disappearing much faster than it took them to get there. Paying closer attention, I realized, it wasn't the veins fading but the skin of his body becoming opaque. His skin was still pale but it was getting less translucent, like it was becoming more durable. After a few hours there was no evidence the darkness, in the veins running through him, ever existed. As I stared unbelieving at him, the only thing I saw was a rather unnoticeable light blue tint to his skin, which I probably would have missed had I not been looking so intently.

I wasn’t sure how to take this occurrence. It seemed like a good thing, it was as if his body might have been trying to fix the damage but he’d been out for nearly twenty hours without even a wiggle of a finger, so his unresponsive condition challenged my hope.

I couldn’t stand sitting around any longer but there wasn’t much I could think to do. I decided on cleaning off the little blood that had dried around his mouth and on his chest. I got up and went to fetch a washrag from the bathroom and wet it, wringing out the excess water, when I returned I started with the blood that spotted his chest. I rubbed gently at the first spot but something didn’t feel right. The flesh didn’t give, as it should have. It was sturdier than I remembered it being when I’d touched him before. I moved on to clean the remaining blood from his chest, ignoring my observation. When all the blood was gone there, I moved to wiping his chin and around his mouth. I was running the cloth over his lips when they parted slightly and I seen a hint of ivory. I thought to myself, that he must not have lost all of his teeth but I set down the washcloth and brought my hands back to his face.

“Oh shit,” I squeaked as I saw the mouth full of perfect teeth in front of me.

It was as if he hadn’t lost any teeth at all. They were perfectly white, had an indescribable shine and they looked deadly. I took my thumb, ran it along the bottom of the two front ones and gasped when they sliced my thumb open. A few drops of blood fell on his tongue. That’s when I heard his heart stutter to a halt.

‘OH MY GOD! HE'S DEAD!’ I thought to myself.

I barely knew him but I felt the unbearable sadness lash through me, just as it had when I found out Peter had died. Tears slipped down my face just as they did when I lost my love. The pain that had been with me the past six days was gone... However, the bond between us didn’t feel broken.





(I put it on rewind a little, this post is from an earlier chapter than the last post from my novel Halfborn. Also, if you would like to read more about Coral and Marshall check out their diaries/journals at http://corallyn.blogspot.com/ and http://marshallsdiary.blogspot.com/ )
Thanks for reading and as always comments are welcome and very much appreciated :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Update

So, I haven't blogged in awhile and I never started that new one I last blogged about but I was just given a wonderful idea from a Facebook page I follow. That page would be Sofia Day's Pen & Writer's Den, maybe go like them on Facebook and no they didn't tell me to say that. Any who, the idea is to keep a diary for your fiction character, or characters in my case. I was just going to do my main character but after pondering further, I've decided to do one for my secondary character, also. If you wish to see what's going on in the life of these character's, please feel free to follow their diary's. I'm uber excited about this!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Thinking

I might create a new blog. It will be strictly fiction writings; tidbits from my current wip, possibly poems and maybe short stories. Kind of what this blog Day by Day turned into, I've found I am not good at posting a daily blog or a blog revolving around my life. My life is just too boring to write about and I usually only complain about stupid things that bother me. So, while I may rarely add a post to this particular blog, it will not be a priority. Not that's its really been one lately, anyhow. I don't know when I will get the new blog started or even for a fact that it will happen but if I do, hopefully it will be soon. It's just a matter of having the time to do so. Well, that's all for now or else I'm going to go into a rant about how crappy things are, I really hate seeing all the negative around me but when everything that surrounds you appears to be negative that's usually all you see. I suppose there are good things in my life but they just seem to be outweighed by the bad. See I'm not very optimistic, lol. Wait, a bit of good news, I have a baby goat due to be delivered any day now :-)